Fundamentals to Core Happiness
In my Tap Into Your Happiness, Anywhere, Anytime Q&A the other night, I discussed:
10 Fundamentals for Maintaining a Core of Happiness.
So that we can meet on a common ground of understanding, I will tell you what is my definition of Happiness.
Happiness is being at peace with what is. It is trusting that your past was and your future will be exactly what they ‘are’ – as being in absolute service to your positive evolution.
Everything that happens, positive and negative, pleasurable or painful, are profound opportunities for growth. With this understanding, you have set the stage for one of the most important elements in attaining Happiness.
I am not going to preach to you that everything that happens is meant to happen. I have known people who have had horrific things happen to them or lost those they love. Some times things happen outside our realm of understanding, and perhaps outside what was intended by the Universe. After all, humans have free-will and choice. Learning to come to peace with what is currently and what has happened, and healing our emotional pain around these events is important and essential work to attaining and maintaining a state of Happiness.
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In this list, you will see both inner as well as outer practices. A few of these practices are quite simple and basic. Yet as with many things in life, the theory is simple, it’s the practice that can be challenging. It appears that the more intelligent we get the more complicated we often make things. My hope is that bringing things back to the basics will allow for easier practice and integration.
- Take consistent right action towards you happiness. Happiness is definitely a choice. And, along with making a choice, one must take consistent right action towards what makes them happy. This separates those who say they want to be happy from those who truly do. Inconsistent action will lead to hit and miss happiness. It’s like going for wealth. You can say you want it, but you must also make consistent effective choices to attain it.
An example to show what choice can do. Ever heard the saying, “Fake it ’til you make it”? The saying is a bit rudimentary, but it has truth. Here is a great experiment. One day, every time someone asks how you are, say, “I’m great, couldn’t be better!” Say this even if you don’t really feel it, but say is as if you do. On another day, answer with, “Ah, well, you know. Life is kinda crappy. But hey.” With both, notice two things, 1) how you feel saying them, and 2) how others respond. It will be an eyeopening experiment. - Identifying your needs and meeting them. If you know what your needs are and how to meet them, you will build trust within yourself which is very important to building a live of happiness! If you don’t know how to meet your needs, you will look to others and other things to meet them for you…and that often does not turn out well.
Learning how to meet your basic needs, is a where we start, but it isn’t the ending point. When one knows how to meet their basic needs, they can then pay attention to the larger impulses like what fulfills you in work, love, creativity, etc. - Meet your basic needs..The one’s that are often dropped out when we get too busy.
- Eat well, drink enough water, take your supplements. Okay, for everyone (other than the few breathairians in the world) this is the most basic of our needs, yet you would be surprised how many do not make certain that these needs are met. Those who practice these regularly know how beneficial and important they are for a healthy state of mind.
- Exercise regularly. Our bodies need to exercise to get our muscles flexed, our blood pumping through our hearts, and our organs activated. Ever heard the saying, “Use it or loose it?” Well, it’s true!
- Get enough sleep, and by this I don’t mean sleep 4 hours, then take power-naps! There have been many studies done on the importance and benefits of sleep. If you are one of the, “I’ll sleep after I am dead” kind of people, I recommend that you read some of the recent studies. On average, adults need 7-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep to maintain optimal health.
Now philosophically speaking, with points 1-4, am I saying that if you don’t have your health, you can’t have happiness? No. But for many who do not have their health, they will tell you that they wish they had taken care of themselves better. - Taking care of the basics of living. I am talking about things such as keeping your living and work environment clean and uncluttered, generating sufficient income, paying bills, etc. Another no-brainer for some…yet not for others.
What is not tended to or left undone pulls on your consciousness. Clutter does this as well. Both act as weights on your brain, and what weighs on you keeps you from being able to expand!
If you are one of those challenged by a lack of income right now, I have empathy for you. Keep on keeping on…and, continue to open your mind and consciousness to creating prosperity. Read books and practice the practices.
Those creative types who would rather be creative than generate income. I suggest finding the balance of doing both. This will engender a more harmonious existence. I know this is possible! It took me 4 years as a single working mother, but I finished a book while maintaining a job.
- Engage in positive thoughts, communications and attitudes, and spend time with positive people. Ever leave a conversation when you felt like you wanted to go scream or punch something? Conversely, have you known someone with whom every time you encounter them you leave feeling better and more positive? Our thoughts, environment and conversations make a huge impact on our emotional well-being. It’s all about energy in, and energy out. If you spend time with negative and cynical people, you will have a harder time maintaining a positive outlook. Same with your conversations. Can you think of anyone who is truly happy that regularly engages in negative conversations? I expect not.Be a “half-full” kind of thinker, and you will see things as opportunities instead of problems. Maintaining outer positivity cannot happen though unless we first cultivate a positive inner world. Hence the saying, “As within, so without.” Our inner world is the petri dish from where our outer experience grows. We simply must be at least willing to embrace the positive and win-win scenarios if we are to create a happy life.This quote from Winston Churchill has a great way of framing this fundamental point, “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Seeing opportunity is indicative of a positive and happy inner world.
- Get clear on what your ideal life is and what it might look like. Getting clear on your vision does a few things: 1) It puts your mind to good work. Your mind has to do something. Give it something positive to do! 2) It’s not until you get clear on your vision, that you can take action towards it. 3) Having a clear vision helps to keep you focused and positive, even when times get challenging. If we don’t have a clear vision, we not only slow our evolutionary process, but we also open ourselves to being swayed by others. Our ability to receive guidance and gifts from the Universe also become hampered. If you need help with this, there are many sources for support. (See #10.)
- Keep your eye on your vision and do something every day towards it. This feeds into tips #1 and 7. We must be actively taking action towards our vision to increase our likelihood of creating what we want.
- Maintain certainty that your vision is already coming into being. Or, as I also say, “Keep your eyes on your vision and your vision will find you.” Remember, if you create a vision, it now exists. Since everything is energy…some in the etheric and invisible, others more densely accumulated and actualized…the only thing that is between your vision and the physical world is time and the persistence in seeing it realized. Practice this so that your vision is manifested in a timely way, and by you and not someone else! Also, and very important, maintaining certainty of your vision will keep you inspired and moving if times get tough.
Tips 7, 8 and 9 helps to solidify the energy of your visions more quickly. - Get regular support. Whether it is getting a coach, joining a mastermind, support group or organization, or developing a partnership, maintain connection with others who can support you in attaining your vision. This ties in to tip #6. We are not islands. Those of us who choose to live amongst civilization (as opposed to living in a cave) thrive better when involved in a network of some sort. Part of getting support and growing is reading books and going to or listening in on seminars, etc., but it is very important to have others who are in alignment with you visions, to hold you to your vision, to hold your feet to the flame if need be, and to be there to hold you when (if) you momentarily falter. Your support system will be your constant reminder of the larger view of you.
- Heal your emotional pain – strive to find peace in strife. Cultivate love, trust compassion, forgiveness, empathy, generosity, and the willingness to receive, and watch your world expand exponentially as you maintain a core of Happiness.
A note on forgiveness: I always try to remember the fact that we all are doing the best we can, given our history and circumstances, or we would do things differently. Negative action people take against us is not personal. It is them acting in the only way they know how in that moment. (This is not said to suggest that one makes themselves a doormat.)
To practice the above mentioned attributes, releasing pain, fear, anger, resentment and judgment may have to be practiced from time to time, especially if one is accustomed to or has been reliant upon using these states to attempt to protect themselves from emotional pain. - Lastly, maintain a connection to that which is larger than you. Meditation, prayer, contemplation, quiet, church, whatever allows you to disengage from your thinking, striving, struggling, and processing, and invites you to open to the power and grace that penetrates and supports all life. Rest and rejuvenate here, and you will know Happiness on a first name basis!
If you would like assistance in any of these areas, this is my life work…
I will leave you with this quote by Robert Heinlein, “Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” My love for all is what draws me here over and over again.
This blog article, and all my writings, are explorations into the wondrous, deep, and ever-evolving process of living, loving and growing. My intention with Pebbles for Thought, is to empower and uplift, one post at a time.
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