Sunday - June 23, 2024

The Power of the Dyad


Hello and welcome,

This page should answer many questions you might have about this profound practice, and why I recommend it.

I have been involved in both the human potential movement and in spiritual explorations of many variations for over 45 years. I’ve been practicing the Dyad Communication Process fairly intensely since 2014. What I can say about it is that of all the practices I’ve explored, this process has provided the most direct path to having undiluted experiences of merging with the unified, undivided whole. Some refer to this as Infinite Awareness. Others call it the Cosmic Heart. I have experienced both.

I will explain how this process works in a moment. But first…

Who can benefit from the Dyad technique

You might be wondering, “Would I benefit from this technique?” I can say with confidence that most people, regardless of religious or spiritual orientation, will find profound value from this technique. This is a broad statement, I know. That’s part of the beauty of this work.

I’ve participated in upward to 1,000 of these 40-minute dyads, with hundreds of partners. With this practice, done sincerely, you will connect to a more expansive experience of being, and to your truest, essential nature from wherever you are — new or seasoned — in your spiritual evolution.

For the reader to more fully understand how the Dyad Communication Process works, here is…

A brief description of the Dyad process

Chair position for Dyads

Chair position for Dyads

  • Two people sit across from each other making eye contact. 
  • Each person has previously chosen the single instruction that they will be contemplating. They would choose from: Tell me Who you are. Tell me What you are. Tell me what Another is (anyone other than yourself). Tell me what Life is. Tell me what Love is.
  • One begins as the listening or receiving partner, the other as the speaking partner. In the span of approximately 40-minute timed sessions, each person takes four (alternating) turns as both.
  • As the speaking partner, they contemplate silently on the instruction, then communicate out loud what is arising as a result of their contemplation.
  • During the speaking partner’s turn, the receiving partner listens openly, maintaining eye contact, without commenting or gesturing.
  • At the end of each turn the receiving partner thanks the speaking partner.

This is a Dyad in a nutshell, though there are many nuances to the technique that would be explained by the one teaching it. For a personal practice, this 40-minute process of alternating speaking and receiving is typically done once with a partner.

Dyad Days are where the process is done anywhere from three to five times. 

There are also Dyad Intensives, also called Enlightenment Intensives, offered throughout the world. They range from three days to two weeks in length. Within an Intensive, the Dyad process is done eleven times each day (with breaks in between) with different partners — hence the accurate title, “Intensive”!

The potency and potential of Dyad work

Below is part of a chapter from my upcoming book that describes an experience I had doing this work.

Note: For more writings about Dyad experiences, shared by colleagues in this work, click here


© Copyright Donna M. Thomas

I had not attended any kind of introductory presentation for this work. All I knew at the time was what a dear friend had told me about it, and that it was “awesome, and deep spiritual work!” So, even with my concerns around concepts of enlightenment, and not understanding what the Dyad Communication Process or an Enlightenment Intensive was, I felt pulled to immerse myself in it. Fortunately, I’ve learned to trust those subtle messages.

From the very first Enlightenment Intensive, I could sense layers of the mind, illusion, ego, disappointment, distrust, and fear begin to dissolve into a state of still, pure awareness. Towards the end of the weekend, I recall beginning to re-know myself as part of a much larger reality that I knew existed but had not experienced so deeply since I was a young child. In the dyad world, these experiences of all types and sizes are called “openings” — stepping into the state of direct knowing of who we are beyond this physical reality.

The following is a journal account of an opening that took place during a 3-day Intensive. I am including it here, not because it was the “best” opening experience I’ve had, but because it was one I documented with the most detail. I’d been practicing the Dyad Communication Process for 2-3 years.  


I’ve written this recount at the request of those who observed it.

I am well aware that one can’t force the affairs of Spirit. This said, I firmly believe that it’s important for me to be clear on an intention for some sort of result before engaging in significant activities. I’m not talking about how specifically a desired result is going to manifest, for I have no control over that. I am speaking simply of the fulfillment of an intention for some sort of deeper understanding or knowing. I am very clear that I am a co-creator of my life, my perceptions, what I manifest, and my evolution. I’ll give an example of what I mean.

Leading up to an Intensive, I had an intuition that it was time to turn a corner in my spiritual life. I wasn’t sure what that would look like, but I knew it was time, and I felt it would happen at the Intensive. I contemplated what kind of spiritual change I might like to see occur and landed on something that felt congruent with where I was in my evolution. When I set my intention for the Intensive, I stated, something to the effect, “I am complete with my spiritual understanding as I have known it. I will have whatever experience needed so that I no longer question myself and my relationship with Spirit. Coming out of the retreat I will have utter certainty.”

I entered into the Intensive both totally open and totally certain.

On the first two days the usual occurred — experiences of vastness, boundlessness, deep plains of existence, and some insights. Then on the third day, in a dyad I heard with my spiritual ear, “The human personality, or human mind, is intended to work through issues (and karma) so that it can evolve. Once one has cleared enough, it can be freed to experience the truth of what one is. You have.” I felt I was close to an edge of deeper knowing, a turning point, a shift in awareness.

In the group talk following the dyad, I shared what I felt, and the Intensive leader confirmed that I was in fact at an edge. I knew it was significant. Then, one of the co- leaders shared about shifting my spotlight of focus to the Self, that nucleus of awareness. I knew when I heard this advice that what she said had been the missing piece. I was ready.

In the next dyad concerns arose, like, “What happens to those in my life who are suffering when I no longer suffer? Will they feel abandoned?” “How is it fair that I get to free myself when so many others are tormented?”, and so on. With these thoughts I felt the desire to contract. It then occurred to me that I could not limit my evolution to keep others comfortable. I owe it to everyone who loves me and myself to follow my own bliss. At some point, there were no more reasons to hold me back.

At the end of my third dyad with my partner, my spiritual ear heard, “Your opening is going to happen during your next turn.” It felt like the communication was a combination of preparing me, as well as giving me an out if I wanted it. Of course I didn’t. This is where the story gets a bit fuzzy. My memory is drawing from this experience as if the essence of the person named Donna, let’s call it the impersonal, ever-present, connected Awareness that humankind have, was watching what was occurring dispassionately, while at the same time, it was experiencing the fullness of what was happening intimately.

I sensed the familiar shift begin to happen that I had felt in past openings when focusing on a centralized spot of pure awareness. I would open myself in this way to potentially have a direct experience of the absolute essence of what I am. Other past direct experiences I had felt like they were an accident. This moment felt that it had an added power of purpose, of intention. As I felt the power begin to surge within, my breathing began to heave. My body felt hollowed out. Then all heaven broke loose. It felt like radiant fireworks were going off inside me. All I could see was explosive light. Or rather, I became the explosive light. The sensation was, I don’t know how to describe this, like a combination of explosions of pure light surging from my feet and up and out of my crown. The energetic heart exploded into what felt like pure, undiluted, ecstatic, boundless Love of a magnitude I didn’t know existed.

There was sobbing and laughing, and more fireworks that obliterated my sense of boundaries and being. There was a knowing that THIS, that was being experienced by whatever awareness was present, was the absolute truth of what IS beyond the physical. Absolute and complete connection to every one and every thing. Someone began asking questions, but it was as if the questioner was speaking gibberish. Words were heard, but they didn’t make sense. There was laughter at the absurdity of it all. The laughter was all-encompassing. I was the laughter, though it was not being generated from me. It was emanating through my body. I believe someone asked, “Tell me what you are.” Then there was knowing that there was no “I” There was no way to answer the question. An individual “self” was no longer present. The heart, the being was unbounded Love. More sobbing and more laughing.

The co-leader asked if there was a message for my dyad partner, but there was no answer. And then in time there was an answer, “No mind” The “I” had dissolved, so there was no mind — only awareness, connection, Love and breath. Beautiful breath. Breath was Love. Love was Breath.

That’s all I can recall about the opening itself. I recall not having the ability to move my body as usual. I recall not remembering how to raise my hand or how to blow my nose. I recall having to listen very carefully to understand what people were asking, as if I was learning a new language. I recall later sitting at the meal table and looking at a gorgeous plate of food that was placed in front of me. It was enough just to look at it.

I had stepped out of time, so it’s difficult remembering details that occurred afterward. That night we did another dyad, or maybe it was two. However many there were, they were very deeply felt. Loving. I don’t recall if words arose up and out from me. During a dyad on the following day my body got so hot I wasn’t sure I could take much more. I’d never felt anything like it. I felt my body might blister or explode. The core of my body felt as if it was a wild fire (no exaggeration!) During the dyad I received an intuitive message that this was more of the opening process, and that I wasn’t done (as in there would be more opening, in different forms, to come).


As I have mentioned, describing this type of experience seems inadequate. No matter the words, they do not seem to capture the moment in its fullness. Attempting reflection of an experience feels equally perplexing. But, I’ll do my best here. Coming out of this opening, I was aware that I had touched the purity of Awareness, that which lives behind, holds the space for, or is a foundation for my consciousness. In walking through door, it seemed that Awareness was some aspect of that which Sources or animates life, and the essence of beingness, and it changed me. Once a person knows these through personal experience, they can’t un-know them. This knowing changes how one sees the world and living itself.

As life altering as this particular experience was, upon further reflection, I have realized that this type of electric (?) opening isn’t the end, the ultimate, or a goal to be achieved. For pure moments arise and reveal themselves in myriad ways, perhaps even tailor-made for the individual and where they are on their path. In addition to the opening described above, I have experienced many other types, flavors, and sizes of openings. And although they are all different, they are nonetheless key contributions to my spiritual evolution — expansive, deeply heart-opening, and profoundly connected in their humanity. Joseph Rubano, a wise Enlightenment Intensive master has used the following poem to drive the point home.

The Blue Iris
By American poet, Mary Oliver

It doesn’t have to be the blue iris,
it could be weeds in a vacant lot,
or a few small stones;
just pay attention,
then patch a few words together
and don’t try to make them elaborate,
this isn’t a contest but the doorway into thanks,
and a silence in which another voice may speak.

Murray Kennedy, another Enlightenment Intensive master, uses this parable from India to describe the pitfall a spiritual seeker may encounter: A group of blind men come upon an elephant for the first time. Each feels a different part of the elephants body. One touches the tail and believes it’s like a thick snake. Another feels its trunk and compares it to a tree. Still another touches tusk believes it’s like a spear. Each then compares their newfound beliefs of what an elephant is. In some versions of this parable, they debate whose beliefs are most accurate. The overarching point is that each of these men believe he knows what an elephant is based on his limited perceptions. In truth, each of our experiences are real, they are simply not the complete truth.

How is the Dyad Communication Process effective in day-to-day-life

At it’s core, the Dyad Process is not solely about the pursuit of enlightenment. From a more practical perspective, it is about deepening love and connection; growing our sense of humanity; and living in harmony with others.


This process is a powerful tool to improving communication and understanding, and increasing one’s feeling of connectedness with the people around them. Joseph Rubano, also a counselor, uses it often in his couple’s counseling. Over the years, as a weekly practice, it has been invaluable in my relationship with my husband. It helps develop the capacity in the two fundamental aspects of communication – listening with full attentiveness and speaking the truth about oneself in the moment. We all want to be seen, heard and understood, and the Dyad Process serves that, and enables that to happen between people.



If you would like to see more complete instructions of the Dyad technique, click here or here

For the history of the Dyad Communication Process and Enlightenment Intensives, click here.

To attend an Enlightenment Intensive near you, click here.

If you would like to connect to me, click here.