Exploring Point #1 – Heal your Fear, Surrender to Love
“When working with people, I am often asked what it takes to have a strong sense of personal power as they go through life. I have noticed these days that even though many have done some amount of personal development work, when it comes right down to it, there is at least one of eight practices that is being dropping out of their daily life. It is this thing or things that cause feelings of lack of personal power, lowered self-confidence, depleted energy – all of which lead to unhappiness and feeling unfulfilled.
To aid you in seeing what elements are crucial in creating and maintaining a deeply fulfilling life, I created The 8 Practices of Authentic Power: Creating a Foundation for Personal Mastery.“
I will explore all eight points starting with:
Point #1 Heal Your Fear, Surrender to Love.
Since Love is the essence of life and living, and the antithesis of Love is fear*, to my reasoning, this is THE practice:
“Choose Love, release fear. Choose Love, release fear. Choose Love, release fear, over and over and over again until only Love remains. Then, you and I will know true freedom.” Excerpt from my upcoming book, From Pebbles to Pathways.
So, how can we release fear? Many years ago, I discovered a secret. It’s simple, yet it REALLY works. The thing is, one has to be ready to let go of one’s fear. Easier to do for some than for others. Many don’t even know when they are feeling fear. But that is a whole other conversation.
I call this the Emotional Freedom Process. It will help if you first think of something that you have a reoccurring fear about. Got something? See it in your head? Okay, here it is, Feel the fear. Allow yourself to feel what it feels like to be frightened. Wh
at does it feel like in your stomach, your heart, your shoulders, your throat? Does it make you want to run? To hide? Take a few minutes and allow
yourself to clearly see what you are frightened of and really feel what you are feeling about it. Sometimes, this alone will release the fear.
Reoccurring fear often happens because we resist feeling it, and we resist feeling it because we are afraid to feel it. But we can’t release it until we feel it. It’s a catch 22. For some though, once they allow themselves to feel their fear, they realize that the fear isn’t the truth, and it magically vanishes.
If, however, the fear you’re experiencing is particularly hefty, and feeling it doesn’t completely take it away, then try this: Say (or write) to yourself, 1) “What am I afraid of?” (Be specific.).” Then ask, 2) “What about this frightens me?” and answer the question. Then, take a few moments and allow yourself to imagine the thing that you are frightened of actually happening, and feel what that feels like. Still frightened? Then ask yourself these 2 questions again, addressing another aspect of what you are frightened of.
Here’s an example of how this process might look like. Remember, to feel what you are feeling as you imagine what you are frightened of.
“I’m afraid of speaking in public. What about this frightens me? I am afraid that when I talk, I will freeze up and I won’t be able to remember what I wanted to say. What about this frightens me? I’m afraid that people will laugh at me. What about this frightens me? I’m afraid that I will feel humiliated. What about this frightens me? I’m afraid that I will feel so humiliated that I will never want to speak in public again. What about this frightens me? I’m afraid that I’ll feel worthless. What about this frightens me? I’m afraid I won’t like myself. And what about this frightens me? I’m afraid I won’t know why am I’m here or what my purpose is. What about this frightens me?” At this point, because I know why I am here and what my purpose is, the question is comical, and I feel a wave of lightness come over me. “Nothing.” I answer. “The fear is gone.”
If you do not feel fear and only feel anger, start the process by asking yourself, “What am I angry about?” Then ask, “What about this angers me?” continue asking yourself the next layer of question. Eventually, you will get to a fear that is underlying the anger. Then, begin to inquire into the fear as described above. So far, I have also tested this process for feelings of sadness, frustratration, hurt, lonely and more, and it works here as well.
As far as Surrendering to Love more deeply, are you ready to truly SURRENDER? All right then…here you go, connect to whom you want to surrender to and without judgment, allow yourself to See him/her exactly how he/she is, and more importantly allow yourself to be Seen by him/her, exactly how you are. Try it.
When we release fear, we open ourselves and create ‘space’ for something else. By choosing to simply witness what is in front of us, without our judgment of right or wrong, or good or bad, and, by being willing to be witnessed and exposing ourselves for ALL that we are, we become surrendered, and this allows Love to rush in.
To begin this process, I recommend you start where you feel “safest”.
If you want to personalize this practice, using a mirror works nicely. You will do it by standing squarely in front of the mirror and looking at your face and into your eyes. Notice if you fidget or allow yourself to get distracted with thoughts or smudges on the mirror while in the process. If you do, just bring your focus back to the practice. Do this for 5 minutes and see how you do. If you can do it for 10 minutes, you’ll notice great results.
If you want to practice this with someone you trust, I suggest lighting a few candles and having some music play in the background can help create an open and loving mood. Make sure you are both comfortable where you are sitting. Then, face each other and gaze into each other’s eyes for 5 minutes to start. Notice if you want to laugh, talk or to look away. Just “be” with your partner. Eventually, work up to 10 minutes or 15 minutes, surrendering yourselves more deeply each time.
If you want to surrender to love in general, or love for the world, start with the personal process. After you feel you have a strong feeling of surrendered love for yourself, then take it out into the world!
Find this process frightening? Then go back to the beginning and feel your fear.
Try out these practices and let me know how they go!
* To clarify, emotional fear, False Evidence Appearing Real, is the fear that stops or inhibits our pursuits of fulfillment and well-being, and not instinctual fear that enables us to protect ourselves from real harm.
This blog, and all my writings, are explorations into the wondrous, deep, and ever-evolving process of living, loving and growing. My intention with Pebbles for Thought, is to empower and uplift, one post at a time.