January 21

30-Days of Silence Day 5

It appears that this first week of “mostly” 30-Days of Silence has partly been about easing into the silence while tying up loose ends of commitments I made before I committed to this silence. Well, this and letting go of my daily intake of chocolate!

I am seeing clearly how locked in I’ve been to SO many activities…much of which are good.  But they all take time and focus and energy.  I’m already seeing some unnecessary activities that will be going by the wayside permanently — making room for what I really, as in actually, want.

It’s amazing to witness what even a little clarity from mostly silent will do.  I am looking forward to sinking deeper and getting quieter. When I did a week-long silent retreat last year it was great because I took the entire week off work, it was in a home that wasn’t mine, and I unplugged from everything.  At this point I am not able to do that for 30-days, and the line of when I “need” to talk and when to be silent is at times somewhat blurry.  But, I’m seeing that, just like with activities, there are conversations (internal as well as external) I indulge in that aren’t necessary.  It’s a good get…

I can feel my body enjoying getting back to eating like I usually do, or did before the holidays.  What is there to see about eating chocolate?  Hmmm.  Do I have to completely let go of my one vice?  Is it a vice if I simply enjoy it…daily?  How much is too much?  What about dark chocolate (my favorite)?  What about chocolate sweetened with stevia instead of sugar?  What about chocolate sweetened with a bit of sugar?  How much sugar is too much?  How much dark chocolate is actually “good” for the body?  How much caffeine is okay for my body?  What about the grams of fat?  Where else do I get fat so that I get enough but not too much?  Ugh!  So many questions taxing my brain. Perhaps it would be better to simply cut it out completely for the rest of the 30-days?  Hmmm.  I think I’m going to have to give this one more thought…  Ha ha ha

Seriously though, I can see why, in addition to silence and decrease in activity (and meditation, of course), it’s beneficial to simplify what one eats — whatever creates more peace and quiet in the mind and body.

This makes me contemplate something.  With thoughts, emotions, habits, possessions, and activities come the need for attention to manage them.  The greater the volume of each there is, the more the need for attention there is.  When “they” talk about simplifying one’s life (to create more “happiness”), I think what they’re at least partially referring to is putting one’s attention on what’s most important and allowing what is less important to fall by the wayside, or at least take a back seat.

This brings up what I will contemplate tomorrow.  What is attachment?  What is drama?  And how they are connected.