February 18

30-Days of Silence Day 33

Donna M ThomasWhen I set out on my silent journey, I had no idea it wouldn’t be easy to leap back into the land of the talking.  I find myself still being quiet much of the time.  When I’m out in public, I look forward to coming back and getting quiet again…and to connecting.

Keeping track of the days has been interesting.  On Tuesday, my first day talking and being back out in the world, I came back and really wanted a nap.  I completely forgot what day it was and that I had a monthly Agape Conscious Community meeting.  I would have been a no-show had one of the members not texted me saying, “Are you still coming?”  I had r.s.v.p.’d just the day before.

Some FB acquaintances have reached out to chat.  I typed with one sweet man I knew as a teen, but am not feeling ready to respond to others yet.

I had a unexpectedly engaging phone conversation today.  Interesting, I’m having far less conversation, and only with whom I actually want to speak.  The conversations feel more meaningful, not so chit chatty.  I like that.  Not that chit chat is wrong.  I enjoyed my fair share of it.  I’m just finding I want to connect in a meaningful way, then move on to the next thing, whatever that is.

I once heard someone say that they only talk with people they wanted to talk to, and only have conversations they want to have.  I’m feeling what they were saying.  There’s a lot of spaciousness here.

I’m now officially off all dating sites.  That feels good too.

Usually when I power walk (1.5-2.0 hours) I listen to music or audio books.  I couldn’t imagine walking without them.  At the beginning of my silence, it was very hard to walk without anything.  But I got used to it.  I’ve tried to put on some music, and turn it off.  I’m also not pulled to listen to any of the books waiting in my queue.

I’m thoroughly enjoying the quiet, and what comes to me when I’m in it.

I assume some of my habits will come back in time.  But now that I’ve experienced the silence, I hope to be more conscious about what I put in that space.

In the meantime, I am enjoying the peace…