I was on my way home today, thinking about a couple of challenges I am having right now. As I was trying to imagine living into a future in these situations, I felt tightness in my heart and a sense of heaviness. I could speak about the specifics, but they really don’t matter. We have all been in situations like this—where you know something’s just not a fit.

In both, I can acknowledge that there are benefits I am receiving, and I can even experience gratitude for what is good about them and how they contribute to my “higher good”.  Then, something will happen that triggers me into thinking, What am I doing here? I don’t like this! This doesn’t match the vision I have for my life.

Then, the tape starts, Well, should I end this situation? Doesn’t my discomfort mean something? Isn’t it a sign that I should make a change? If I can’t see a future here, isn’t it best to let it go and move on? Or, Am I holding myself back or limiting myself by staying in a situation that has no longevity ? Am I doing myself a disservice?

As a woman, I yearn to live the majority of my life feeling inspired, splayed open by love, surrendered into peace, and even elevated into the ecstatic. I have achieved each of these in varying degrees throughout my day to day life, so I know I am able. Though when I allow my mind and focus to engage in the kind of thoughts I mentioned above, even if for a few minutes as was in this case, it makes it  harder, if not impossible, to go there. All that happens with each rotation of the tape is that my thoughts and positivity spiral further and further downwards. And we all know that wherever your attention goes, so flows what we create.

When I turned onto Montana Avenue, with all its trees and beautiful homes, I had an insight into my situations. It sounded something like this as it came into my awareness.

Remember, you have the choice to be the calm center of the storms around you. Given your desire, you have the capacity to practice your peace here and now. Things aren’t the way you want them, but it’s not yet time to change? Then be at peace with this.

Practice what you know, even though it’s difficult, especially when it’s difficult. You know that these situations are transitory. You know that the Universe is always working on your behalf. Trust this now. You have a clear ‘vision’, so you will know when it’s time to make a change. In the mean time, continue to do your best where you are, and try not to take things personally, unless they are personal and therefore invitations for growth. When momentary flair ups occur, take a breath, let it out, let “it” go, come back to your center and find your peace HERE NOW.

With this, continue your meditation practice, and pray for the situation and those involved. You will see positive movement.

I felt my thoughts, and the stress that accompanied them, being washed away, leaving me lighter and more centered…and all in time to stop in for a Peet’s latte before I was expected home.

The Grace that guides us is SO right on!

This blog, and all my writings, are explorations into the wondrous, deep, and ever-evolving process of living, loving and growing. My intention with Pebbles for Thought, is to empower and uplift, one post at a time.

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