Quotable Quotes:

“Being right doesn’t make us safe…or happy. It is more fulfilling to aim for authenticity and transparency.” ∞ DT

“When working with people, I am often asked what it takes to have a strong sense of personal power as they go through life. I have noticed these days that even though many have done some amount of personal development work, when it comes right down to it, there is at least one of eight practices that is being dropping out of their daily life. It is this thing or things that cause feelings of lack of personal power, lowered self-confidence, depleted energy – all of which lead to unhappiness and feeling unfulfilled.

To aid you in seeing what elements are crucial in creating and maintaining a deeply fulfilling life, I created The 8 Practices of Authentic Power: Creating a Foundation for Personal Mastery.“

Listed below are the practices that have already been explored:

Practice #1
Heal Your Fear, Surrender to Love

Practice #2 
Be In The Present, Pay Attention

Practice #3
Maintain a Vision That is Larger Than You

And here is Practice #4 –
Do What Inspires You. Take Actions That Are In Alignment With Your Vision.

When embarking on the path of a fulfilling life, questions that often emerge are, “What should I do?” “How do I know what’s the best choice?” or “What is I choose wrong?” Some become overwhelmed by the options available and shut down; while others don’t see options because they are fearful of making a wrong choice; while still yet others go helter-skelter in their attempt to find which way to go.

Practice #4 is intended to support you in choosing a path that will bring you fulfillment and happiness, as quickly as possible.

Whether you are just out of college, in your 40’s and in the midst of a career change, or simply questioning what’s next in your life, getting clear on and maintaining your vision (practice #3), and taking actions that are in alignment with that vision are crucial.

If you speak with people who are confident with who they are and happy with their lives, most likely they are practicing some version of what I have mentioned above. Those who are walking in alignment with their vision are the ones everyone seems to want to be around. People and opportunities just seem to gravitate to them. Why? Because those who are taking action in alignment with their vision are in the flow of life!

As Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi points to in his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, happiness involves the continual challenge to go beyond oneself as part of something greater than one’s own self-interest. Flow is comprised of moments of peak concentration, immersed in and doing what you love and know how to do best.

When confronted with the question, “What do I do?” the answer is, “Do what you love, and do what you are inspired by. Do what allows you to feel in the flow with the best version of yourself.”

Whether you make $100 a day, or $100 thousand, unless you function from this place, you won’t know real and lasting fulfillment. And let’s face it, life without fulfillment is not a life anyone would choose freely.
Most who have their mental facilities, at some point or another have a thought to increase their enjoyment of life by expanding it to include doing something that allows them to feel the larger flow of life. It is natural. Life force is always seeking to expand.

So what inspires you? Is it creating a painting, meditating daily, climbing a mountain, replacing a carburetor, introducing the next Internet revolution, or discovering a new planet? When one follows their impulses and their natural talent, they can be lead to myriad experiences that can alter their life, and in effect, the world around them.

Why do it?

Do you want to make a living by doing what inspires you, or simply do it for your own inner well-being? The answer is, it doesn’t matter! Since life’s meaning is the meaning we give it, it truly doesn’t matter what you do. This said, the purpose of life is to bring as much love into it as one is capable. When we do this, either for ourselves or for others, the effect is the same. Lives are made better.

I once had a friend who LOVED to play Texas Hold’em (a type of poker.) And he was very good at it. But he felt guilty playing because he had a thought that he should not love something so shallow.

When he was engaged in a process of creating his ideal life on paper. I noticed that making money at playing poker was not on his list and I asked him why. When he told me that he didn’t think he could make a living at it, I asked why. He explained that he thought he could not…or should not because it was not reputable or lofty. I asked him, “George, other than spending time with women, what is it you love doing most in life?” He responded, “Directing films and playing poker.”

After working with him a bit, he was able to disconnect from what he thought others might think of him. He went on to win or place well in several poker competitions, and he was TRULY thrilled to do it.

His passion may not have saved lives, but it made him happier, which in effect made others who were in his life happier.

The point in all this…and the point of these Points of Authentic Power? To find deeper fulfillment. To live your life as if the things that are important to you are important. You matter, and so does that which you envision. You never know where it is going to lead you!

So get clear on your vision and take daily steps towards having it be part of your life. Remember, a small step is better than now step at all! Just watch to be sure the steps you are taking are in alignment with what you want. If you’re not super clear on your vision and commit yourself to taking steps each day, it’s easy to get distracted and side-tracked. Taking action in alignment is EVERY BIT as important as having a clear vision.

So, whether you want to take a few classes, getting a degree, plan a trek across Europe, work on your new business venture, or volunteer at a place that’s making a huge difference in the world, stop thinking about it and just do it!

It’s OKAY to do something just for you. And it doesn’t have to be lofty, important or meaningful to anyone but you.

Donna Thomas
Intuitive Life Coach, Healing Conduit, Mastery Group Leader, Author

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This blog, and all my writings, are explorations into the wondrous, deep, and ever-evolving process of living, loving and growing. My intention with Pebbles for Thought is to empower and uplift, one post at a time.

“Nothing has inherent meaning, yet there is meaning in everything.” DT

Something happened today (can’t remember what it was now) and after it happened I said to myself something like, “Oh, this means…..”, and the meaning brought me an insightful moment.

After my reflection, I thought to myself, “I imagine if someone else were to have this insignificant thing happen, they would most likely just move on without another thought.”

This got me to reflecting on the assertion, very few things, if anything, have inherent meaning. Whatever meaning there is comes from what we give them.

This then brought me to the thought, “There are probably just as many opinions, thoughts and meanings about anything as their are people.”

This lead me to wondering if it’s better to simply take things at face value, or if it’s more beneficial to look for meaning. The answer to this, of course, is that there is no right answer. What’s valuable is in the unique mind of each individual. You can make much ado about nothing, as well as find wonder in everything.

From this, I thought about the personal empowerment and healing I’ve experienced from finding meaning in the smallest and most insignificant to the most challenging of experiences, and in that moment I felt grateful for this ability/choice/gift.

Here’s an example, albeit not insignificant:

Early summer of my 25th year, my mother was struck by illness and was later hospitalized. During the same period, my best friend was soon to deliver her baby, and two dear friends of mine decided to get married. Given how close I was to them all, I would be very involved in all of these events.

Very long stories short, and as it turned out, my best friend gave birth to a healthy son with me in the birthing room, I planned and orchestrated the wedding for my sweet friends, and my beautiful mother tragically passed away, all within a couple months.

It would have been understandable for someone to just involve themselves in the activities and the drama of what was happening and not pay attention to the larger picture. I was grateful beyond measure, however, to find profound meaning in it all. As a result, even with the grief over my mother’s illness and death, I was also able to experience the other major elements of life—great joy, deep love and the miracle of birth.

Some how, in experiencing all this at once, I was able to put my mother’s death into perspective. It was incredibly painful, yes, but to me there was a larger meaning and depth to it all, and I was grateful to have seen it.

Do you have insight into the mind of meaning?

Where does it come from? It comes from knowing that there is an order to the Universe, and a balance and beauty that is unwavering it its support. I call it Grace.

If you’d like to read another example of finding meaning in an unlikely way, read this sweet story  One Woman’s Soap, A Thanks Giving Tale.

Donna Thomas
Intuitive Life Coach, Healing Conduit, Author

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This blog, and all my writings, are explorations into the wondrous, deep, and ever-evolving process of living, loving and growing. My intention with Pebbles for Thought is to empower and uplift, one post at a time.

I researched who wrote this, but was sadly unsuccessful. I imagine the quote was originally the message inside an existential greeting card with the photo on the front of some etheric superwoman kicking but in the world.

Are you a force to be reckoned with, or do you think it’s another’s job to create the change you want to see in the world?

I guess I am of the famous Mikail Gorbachev mindset, “If not me, who? And if not now, when?” Ever since I can remember, the people who inspired me most were those who got out there and not just talked about change, but actually took action to create it, whether it was local or global.

Most who create great change start with small steps, then in time the steps got larger and larger and more prominent. Eventually, they accumulate a body of choices and actions that have measurable and visible results.

It all starts with a FIRST step in a direction. What inspires someone to get started can vary greatly, but one thing’s for sure, those who create big change have courage, spunk, commitment to something larger then themselves, and gumption!

Donna Thomas, Intuitive Life Coach
Author: From Pebbles to Pathways: A Memoir on Healing Pain and Surrendering to Love

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This blog, and all my writings, are explorations into the wondrous, deep, and ever-evolving process of living, loving and growing. My intention with Pebbles for Thought is to empower and uplift, one post at a time.

I am going to give you a simple truth about judgment, of both yourself and others.

Ready? Here it goes.

Judgments = opinions that often engender resentment…and righteousness.  Your judgment is an indicator that you have an issue to clear. The jerk who honks their horn at you even though it’s their fault. The other jerk who takes the parking space that you were waiting so patiently for. The troubled parent who abandons their child. The sick person who opens fire in a public place.

• Let me take each of the examples above and shed some light on them: The horn honker and the parking space taker — Why do you care if they honk their horn? Why does it matter if they are wrong and you are right? Whatever buttons (issues) you have around being made wrong, or things being unfair, or having to be right, or not liking loud noises being directed at you, are being pushed, and this is why you care.
• The troubled parent and the sick person — Yes, child abandonment and acts of violence are awful in my book too, and I deeply feel for all involved every time I hear of such acts. But for anyone to do such a thing, they must be incredibly sick, pained and/or fearful, and they deserve compassion, too.

This exploration isn’t suggesting we let anyone off the hook for acts of unkindness or violence. We’re talking about how you can free yourself from judging others. Your judgments hurt only you—they fester, and can even cause you to implode and become sick. They don’t (usually) affect anyone else.

Any time you have judgment, it is an indicator that you have something to heal within yourself. The great thing about this is that when you understand this, you have the opportunity to live a much more peaceful existence.

Why care about having a peaceful existence? Would you rather die a happy, fulfilled, and peaceful person, or die angry, bitter and resentful? The more you judge, the easier it becomes to do it again, and again. At some point you will find yourself unhappy, angry and pessimistic much of the time. Is this how you want to live? Is this how you want to die? I think not.

What about those who judge just a little, or every now and then? Given how short life is, do you really want to waste even a minute on anything but what brings you happiness and fulfillment? I know I don’t.

Want to understand more about freeing yourself of judgment?  Check out From Pebbles To Pathways: A Book on Healing the Heart and Surrendering to Love.

Article author:  Donna M Thomas

Article source:  Can You Stop Your Judgment of Others?

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This blog, and all my writings, are explorations into the wondrous, deep, and ever-evolving process of living, loving and growing. My intention with Pebbles for Thought, is to empower and uplift, one post at a time.

• Cultivating compassion and empathy toward the person with whom you have the issue, including yourself!
• Reminding yourself that everyone is always doing the best they can, otherwise they would do things differently.
• Then continue to press deeper. As you press deeper, you will see the fragility of all humans, including yourself. Everyone yearns to be loved. Everyone has fears. Everyone has pain. Everyone, and I mean everyone makes mistakes that they regret, whether they can admit it or not. With this realization, the ego begins to disengage and you feel your grip on anger, resentment and judgment loosen.

The deeper you can go in this practice, the freer you will feel.

You would be surprised at how many won’t actually go here. They can’t imagine taking ownership of their own feelings and experience, so they go and distract themselves by pointing the finger at someone or something else. But I know YOU can do it, because you are brave!

“It takes courage to practice compassion, and emotional intelligence to practice empathy.” ∞ DT

The release you can feel from this work will bring you to a profoundly peaceful place. And we could all use a bit more peace in our lives. Yes?

Want to understand more about letting go of anger?  Check out From Pebbles To Pathways: A Book on Healing the Heart and Surrendering to Love.

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This blog, and all my writings, are explorations into the wondrous, deep, and ever-evolving process of living, loving and growing. My intention with Pebbles for Thought, is to empower and uplift, one post at a time.

Upon returning home, Isabelle was cleaning the counter tops in the kitchen. I set one of the bottles of soap on the counter, and in a joking manner, I presented the other to her as a grand gift, “Para usted” (For you), I said with a grin. She offered her usual gracious smile, and in her native tongue (of which I understood about every four words), she proceeded to thank me over and over for the gift and ask God to bless me for having such a big heart. I thought she was going a bit overboard with the joke, but I played along, saying it was my pleasure.

Today as I was washing the dishes, I thought about how much I like Isabelle. She is consistently grateful for the work I give her and forever generous with her blessings on my daughter and me. I also noticed that she had done a particularly wonderful job on my apartment, and I took a moment to gave thanks for her.

My thoughts then began to re-run the day before when she had pretended to be so happy about the dish soap. Something about it struck me as odd, and I searched inside for what I was picking up on. It then occurred to me, “I wonder if she thought I was serious about the soap?” I turned off the water and bent down to look underneath my sink. Sure enough it wasn’t there, she had taken it home. I gasped and laughed out loud. Feeling a tug at my heart, I was overcome at how sincerely grateful she had been receiving a bottle of dish soap as a gift.

This was quite a reality check.

My daughter was also touched by what happened and summed it up perfectly when she gave me the title to this story:

“One woman’s soap is another woman’s hope.”

So wise and wonderful our children are…

Something I try to be conscious of is how fortunate I am and to be grateful for my fortunes, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

This Thanksgiving, I pray that you have many fortunes to be thankful for!

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This blog, and all my writings, are explorations into the wondrous, deep, and ever-evolving process of living, loving and growing. My intention with Pebbles for Thought, is to empower and uplift, one post at a time.

“It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses.” Dag Hammarskjold

From the way I see it, parenting is the MOST important job on the planet. When you find yourself running ragged from doing “life’s work”, try to remind yourself of this simple truth and regain perspective.

I mean who knows, maybe one of your children will be the next MLK Jr., Mother Teresa, Leonardo DaVinci, Eva Peron, Alexander Flemming, Amelia Erhart or Thomas Jefferson. And whether or not they grow to be great in the eyes and minds of the world, they deserve to achieve their own personal greatness!

How can you resolve these conversations? Below are the practices that have worked for me.

Do your best to:
•  Give yourself time to cool off;
•  Cultivate compassion and make amends when possible;
•  Take responsibility for your part;
•  Authentically share your truth and your experience, and
ask that they do the same; and
•  Do your best to re-establish respect.

I would also add to this the willingness to forgive yourself and the other person involved. This falls under the category of compassion for me, but it bears mentioning.

Just in time for the upcoming holidays.